IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL
IF you love me let me fall all by myself.
Don’t try to spread a net out
to catch me, don’t throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so
I don’t have to feel it, don’t stand in the place I am going to land so
that you can break the fall, (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of
Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me
walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the
pit….trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can’t see
The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me,
trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault,
enabling me…..The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and
consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not
yours….the sooner I will arrive….and on time….just right where I need
to be…me, alone all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead…resist
the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square
If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I am
free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look
for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top.
In the beginning as I start to climb out….I just might slide back down, but
don’t worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I
make it out safe and sound.
Don’t you see?? Don’t you know?? You can’t do this for me…I have to
do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever
supposed to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to
It is my burden to carry, not yours.
I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do
is because you don’t know what to do and you act from your heart and
from knowledge of what is best for me….but if you truly love me, let
me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good.
Don’t clip my wings before I can learn to fly….nudge me out of your
safety net….trust the process and pray for me…..that one day I will not
only fly, but maybe even soar.