Tag Archives: goodbye letter to addiction

Ttyl

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Dear Dope,

let me start off by telling you how much i’ve missed you. i know it doesn’t seem like and i know i should’ve called. i know i don’t come around anymore, but, to you, that’s all beside the point, right? i thinkĀ  you know where i’m going with this and I think you know what i’m about to say…

we can’t see each other anymore. yes, i have made up my mind, this is the way it has to be. no, i’m not seeing anybody else. i understand you’re upset with me. you feel used, but so do i…

you were everything i thought i needed and wanted out of life an energetic and vibrant youth. you were my strength when i had nothing. you made me forget about everything else and in some sick way, you made it all bearable. i felt like a new person when i had you by my side. i was powerful. i was independant. i was in charge. i was so very wrong. you had me fooled. behind the smokescreen (literally) i was nothing. i was a pathetic shell of who i had been. i did not know joy or laughter. i had lost everything good in my life: my children, my family, my job, my health, my money, my self-respect, my self-esteem. i was too busy to even notice or care. i made all the wrong decisions. i lost my peace, my serenity and, above all, i lost myself. so… you are my addition. you are bigger than me and stronger than me. i have let you control my actions, my thoughts, my life. i will spend many years correcting the damage i have done.

i’m sure you understand. no, it won’t be easy. it’s a long, tough road ahead, but i’ll make it. i can’t honestly say that i will not miss you and that i won’t be tempted along the way, i will. but there is life without you. there is life after you.

sincerely,

amanda