Tweaking….A Poem

  Just one more hit.
Hey I thought you quit.
I gave it a try, but I like the meth high.
I don’t face reality or try to deal
And I never worry where I will get my next meal.
I have come to accept this is the life for me.
Put me in jail, I don’t like being free.
I don’t want to see my family, my kids, or my friends.
Is today the day it will finally all end.
I was doing so good, I was doing so great.
I saw my p.o and I wasn’t late.
I went to sleep at night and woke up the next day.
I finally got legitimate pay.
I had a girl I could sit with and just talk.
Until into my mind came a clear little rock.
My new family was laid to rest.
I got a warrant for my dirty drug test.
I moved into a house under surveillance and bugged.
To avoid the thought, I stayed constantly drugged.
A house full of tweaks is not a fun sight.
They are plotting something all day and all night.
What made me go back to my old ways.
I’m seeing shadow people, I haven’t slept in days.
I miss how it was, watching movies and eating.
When will I learn to finally stop tweaking.

Last Updated on Sunday, 12 September 2010

Icy Hell

© S Raine

Looking forward with fear I stare.
I face the mirror to see there.
I’ve lost my family, my friends are few.
You’ve controlled my life but now I’m through.
I’m finally strong enough to fight.
By myself I’ll make this right.
I’ve lived in Hell with my demon.
I’ve done your deeds a life of scheming.
All I’ve loved I’ve lost no hope.
All that’s left is you and dope.
Seeing life smoked through a glass.
To erase the memories from my past.
With every hit I kept you strong.
I’ve stayed weak for far to long.
I’m taking back all you stole.
My life, my love, my world, my soul.
Today’s the day I leave this jail.
So take your demon and go to Hell.
The End 

<a href=”<a href="http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/sad/poetry.asp?poem=19816″>Icy" rel="nofollow">http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/sad/poetry.asp?poem=19816″>Icy</a> Hell by S Raine – Family Friend Poems</a>

Chapters of My Life…

Chapter 1

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into a deep hole. I couldn’t get out and I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t my fault. It took a long time to get out.

Chapter 2

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. I couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t my fault. I really had to struggle to get out.

Chapter 3

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. This time I understood why and it was my fault. This time it was easier to get out.

Chapter 4

I walked down the sidewalk and saw the same big hole. I walked around it. I didn’t fall into that hole.

Chapter 5

I chose another sidewalk.

-Portia Nelson

(20th-century American writer)

Just for Today – April 23

April 23

A God of our own understanding

“Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean.” Basic Text, p. 25 ––––=–––– Some of us enter recovery with a working understanding of a Higher Power.  For a lot of us, however, “God” is a troublesome word.  We may doubt the existence of any sort of Power greater than ourselves.  Or we may remember uncomfortable experiences with religion and shy away from “the God stuff.” Starting over in recovery means we can start over in our spiritual life, too.  If we’re not comfortable with what we learned when we were growing up, we can try a different approach to our spirituality.  We don’t have to understand everything all at once or find the answers to all our questions right away.  Sometimes it’s enough just to know that other NA members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean. ––––=–––– Just for today: All I have to know right now about my Higher Power is that it is the Power that helps keep me clean.

Copyright © 1991-2010 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

My Name is Meth-A Poem

If my ‘glamorous’ lifestyle
Is appealing to you. . .
And you want to try me
Because you’ve ‘nothing to lose’. . .
Then, let me give you
A bit of advice:
You are a fool. . .
And you’d better think twice.

I destroy homes
I tear families apart
I take your children
And thats just the start
Im more value than diamonds
More precious than gold
The sorrow I bring
Is sight to bold

If you need me, remember
Im easily found,
I live all around you
In school and in town
I live with the rich
I live with the poor
I live just down the road
Or maybe next door

Im made in a lab,but
Not in one like you think
I can be made under your kitchen sink
Or in your childrens closet
And even out in the woods
If it scares you to death
It certainly should.

I have many names
But there’s one you know best
Im sure you’ve heard of me
My names Crystal Meth
My power is awesome
Try me and you’ll see
But if you do
You may never break free

Just try me once
And I might let you go
But if you try me twice
Then I own your soul

When I possess you
You’ll steal and lie
You’ll do what you have to
Just to get high
The crimes you’ll commit
For my narcotic charms
Will be worth for the pleasure
You’ll feel in my arms

You’ll lie to your mother
You’ll steal from your dad
When you see their tears
You must not feel sad

Just forget your morals
And how you were raised
I’ll be your conscious
I’ll teach you my ways

I take kids from their parents
I take parents from kids
I turn people from god
I seperate friends
I’ll take everything from you
Even your good looks and your pride
I’ll be with you always
Right here by your side.

You’ll give up everything
Your family, your home
Your money,you friends
You’ll be all alone
I’ll take and I’ll take
Til you give no more to give
When Im finished with you
You’ll be lucky to live

If you try me be warned
THIS IS NOT A GAME
If im given the chance
I’ll drive you insane
I’ll ravage your body
I’ll control your mind
I’ll own you completely
Your soul will be mine

The nightmares I’ll give you
When your lying in bed…
And the voices you’ll hear
From inside your head
The sweats,the shakes and the visions you’ll see…
I want you to know
These are your gifts from me

By then its too late
And you’ll know in your heart
That you are now mine
And we shall not part
You’ll regret that you tried me (They always do)
Remember, you came to me
Not I, to you

You knew this would happen
How many times were you told?
But you challenged my power
You chose to bold
You could have said “No” and walked away
If you could live that day over
Now what would you say?

My power is awesome
As I told you before
I can take your mother
And turn her into a whore
Go ahead and curse me
With every breath
Just make your choice
Will it be life or meth?

You will take unknown paths
On your journey through life
Some will bring happiness
Some will bring strife
But, my path is one
You must not ever cross.
Although its well trodden
Countless lives have been lost

Now that you’ve met me
What will you do?
Will you try me or not?
It’s all up to you
I can show you more misery
Than words can tell
Come take my hand
Let me lead you to hell!

One Such as You, by Amanda Casey

While I roam around, illicit thoughts,

I cling to regrets, forget-me-nots.

I can leave you alone but it’s so hard to do,

Shutting the door on one such as you.

There were so many good times, but some bad ones too.

Til death do us part, was how I loved you.

Never before, were the stakes so “hi”,

Not wanting, not willing to say “goodbye”.

And when the day finally came,

Free from your bondage, obsession and shame.

Picked myself up off of the floor,

and yelled “get back forevermore!”

The shock I could sense, could see in your eyes,

Wanting some closure from all of your lies.

This time it was different and you knew it too,

Shutting the door on one such as you.

broken….a poem

when i look at your sad, broken face,

it captivates time, a never-ending race.

through your eyes i can see, such heart-wretching pain,

searching for happiness, but it’s all in vain,

i feel your hurt, i feel your fear,

a tough wall to topple after so many years.

there is always a glimmer, a ray of hope,

to pick yourself up, after a life filled with dope.

one day you’ll be happy, just wait and see,

your spirit will be unchained and finally set free.

for we are the captains of our wayward souls,

life is a journey, but please remember those,

who have come together, whose time is done,

in the heavens above, joined as one….

amanda casey 2-10-10