Category Archives: drugs and addiction poem poems poetry

Tweaking….A Poem

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  Just one more hit.
Hey I thought you quit.
I gave it a try, but I like the meth high.
I don’t face reality or try to deal
And I never worry where I will get my next meal.
I have come to accept this is the life for me.
Put me in jail, I don’t like being free.
I don’t want to see my family, my kids, or my friends.
Is today the day it will finally all end.
I was doing so good, I was doing so great.
I saw my p.o and I wasn’t late.
I went to sleep at night and woke up the next day.
I finally got legitimate pay.
I had a girl I could sit with and just talk.
Until into my mind came a clear little rock.
My new family was laid to rest.
I got a warrant for my dirty drug test.
I moved into a house under surveillance and bugged.
To avoid the thought, I stayed constantly drugged.
A house full of tweaks is not a fun sight.
They are plotting something all day and all night.
What made me go back to my old ways.
I’m seeing shadow people, I haven’t slept in days.
I miss how it was, watching movies and eating.
When will I learn to finally stop tweaking.

Last Updated on Sunday, 12 September 2010

Icy Hell

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Icy Hell

© S Raine
Looking forward with fear I stare.
I face the mirror to see there.
I’ve lost my family, my friends are few.
You’ve controlled my life but now I’m through.
I’m finally strong enough to fight.
By myself I’ll make this right.
I’ve lived in Hell with my demon.
I’ve done your deeds a life of scheming.
All I’ve loved I’ve lost no hope.
All that’s left is you and dope.
Seeing life smoked through a glass.
To erase the memories from my past.
With every hit I kept you strong.
I’ve stayed weak for far to long.
I’m taking back all you stole.
My life, my love, my world, my soul.
Today’s the day I leave this jail.
So take your demon and go to Hell.
The End 







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Chapters of My Life…

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Chapter 1

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into a deep hole. I couldn’t get out and I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t my fault. It took a long time to get out.

Chapter 2

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. I couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t my fault. I really had to struggle to get out.

Chapter 3

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. This time I understood why and it was my fault. This time it was easier to get out.

Chapter 4

I walked down the sidewalk and saw the same big hole. I walked around it. I didn’t fall into that hole.

Chapter 5

I chose another sidewalk.

-Portia Nelson

(20th-century American writer)

Just for Today – April 23

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April 23 A God of our own understanding
“Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean.”

Basic Text, p. 25

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Some of us enter recovery with a working understanding of a Higher Power.  For a lot of us, however, “God” is a troublesome word.  We may doubt the existence of any sort of Power greater than ourselves.  Or we may remember uncomfortable experiences with religion and shy away from “the God stuff.”

Starting over in recovery means we can start over in our spiritual life, too.  If we’re not comfortable with what we learned when we were growing up, we can try a different approach to our spirituality.  We don’t have to understand everything all at once or find the answers to all our questions right away.  Sometimes it’s enough just to know that other NA members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean.

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Just for today: All I have to know right now about my Higher Power is that it is the Power that helps keep me clean.

Copyright © 1991-2010 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

My Name is Meth-A Poem

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If my ‘glamorous’ lifestyle
Is appealing to you. . .
And you want to try me
Because you’ve ‘nothing to lose’. . .
Then, let me give you
A bit of advice:
You are a fool. . .
And you’d better think twice.

I destroy homes
I tear families apart
I take your children
And thats just the start
Im more value than diamonds
More precious than gold
The sorrow I bring
Is sight to bold

If you need me, remember
Im easily found,
I live all around you
In school and in town
I live with the rich
I live with the poor
I live just down the road
Or maybe next door

Im made in a lab,but
Not in one like you think
I can be made under your kitchen sink
Or in your childrens closet
And even out in the woods
If it scares you to death
It certainly should.

I have many names
But there’s one you know best
Im sure you’ve heard of me
My names Crystal Meth
My power is awesome
Try me and you’ll see
But if you do
You may never break free

Just try me once
And I might let you go
But if you try me twice
Then I own your soul

When I possess you
You’ll steal and lie
You’ll do what you have to
Just to get high
The crimes you’ll commit
For my narcotic charms
Will be worth for the pleasure
You’ll feel in my arms

You’ll lie to your mother
You’ll steal from your dad
When you see their tears
You must not feel sad

Just forget your morals
And how you were raised
I’ll be your conscious
I’ll teach you my ways

I take kids from their parents
I take parents from kids
I turn people from god
I seperate friends
I’ll take everything from you
Even your good looks and your pride
I’ll be with you always
Right here by your side.

You’ll give up everything
Your family, your home
Your money,you friends
You’ll be all alone
I’ll take and I’ll take
Til you give no more to give
When Im finished with you
You’ll be lucky to live

If you try me be warned
THIS IS NOT A GAME
If im given the chance
I’ll drive you insane
I’ll ravage your body
I’ll control your mind
I’ll own you completely
Your soul will be mine

The nightmares I’ll give you
When your lying in bed…
And the voices you’ll hear
From inside your head
The sweats,the shakes and the visions you’ll see…
I want you to know
These are your gifts from me

By then its too late
And you’ll know in your heart
That you are now mine
And we shall not part
You’ll regret that you tried me (They always do)
Remember, you came to me
Not I, to you

You knew this would happen
How many times were you told?
But you challenged my power
You chose to bold
You could have said “No” and walked away
If you could live that day over
Now what would you say?

My power is awesome
As I told you before
I can take your mother
And turn her into a whore
Go ahead and curse me
With every breath
Just make your choice
Will it be life or meth?

You will take unknown paths
On your journey through life
Some will bring happiness
Some will bring strife
But, my path is one
You must not ever cross.
Although its well trodden
Countless lives have been lost

Now that you’ve met me
What will you do?
Will you try me or not?
It’s all up to you
I can show you more misery
Than words can tell
Come take my hand
Let me lead you to hell!

Just for Today-April 21st

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April 21 Fear
“We have found that we had no choice except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using.”

Basic Text, p. 22

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Many of us find that our old ways of thinking were dominated by fear.  We were afraid that we wouldn’t be able to get our drugs or that there wouldn’t be enough.  We feared discovery, arrest, and incarceration.  Further down the list were fears of financial problems, homelessness, overdose, and illness.  And our fear controlled our actions.

The early days of recovery weren’t a great deal different for many of us; then, too, fear dominated our thinking.  “What if staying clean hurts too much?” we asked ourselves.  “What if I can’t make it?  What if the people in NA don’t like me?  What if NA doesn’t work?”  The fear behind these thoughts can still control our behavior, keeping us from taking the risks necessary to stay clean and grow.  It may seem easier to resign ourselves to certain failure, giving up before we start, than to risk everything on a slim hope.  But that kind of thinking leads only to relapse.

To stay clean, we must find the willingness to change our old ways of thinking.  What has worked for other addicts can work for us—but we must be willing to try it.  We must trade in our old cynical doubts for new affirmations of hope.  When we do, we’ll find it’s worth the risk.

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Just for today: I pray for the willingness to change my old ways of thinking, and for the ability to overcome my fears.

Copyright © 1991-2010 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

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If you love me….

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IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL
IF you love me let me fall all by myself.

Don’t try to spread a net out
to catch me, don’t throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so
I don’t have to feel it, don’t stand in the place I am going to land so
that you can break the fall, (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of
me).
Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me
walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the
pit….trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can’t see
it.

The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me,
trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault,
enabling me…..The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and
consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not
yours….the sooner I will arrive….and on time….just right where I need
to be…me, alone all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead…resist
the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square
one.

If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I am
free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look
for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top.

In the beginning as I start to climb out….I just might slide back down, but
don’t worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I
make it out safe and sound.

Don’t you see?? Don’t you know?? You can’t do this for me…I have to
do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever
supposed to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to
get well.

It is my burden to carry, not yours.

I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do
is because you don’t know what to do and you act from your heart and
from knowledge of what is best for me….but if you truly love me, let
me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good.

Don’t clip my wings before I can learn to fly….nudge me out of your
safety net….trust the process and pray for me…..that one day I will not
only fly, but maybe even soar.